Thursday, July 05, 2007

Lies, damn lies and utter speculation!

A very insidious rumor making the rounds the past few days has been the speculation the reason Microsoft didn’t go through with a planned change easing the EULA restrictions on the Windows Vista™ Home editions on June 19 was as a result of some double-secret agreement with Apple.

Let us see: Microsoft would take extremely great pains to alienate a gazillion current and future users of Windows Vista™ Home edition just for a few Macs?

Are you kidding?

The essence of the rumor was that Microsoft, as a result of a deal with Apple to ship Macbooks (or whatever their lappers are called) with Windows on a Boot Camp’ed partition, removed it since Apple wanted the additional revenue from selling Windows Vista. The availability of Safari, iTunes, and a host of other Apple software products made such a supposition logical.

Logical, yes. But only if you live permanently in Steve Job's RDF*.

Again, are you kidding?

A billion monkeys, thumping away at a billion Selectric® keyboards, in a billion years could not come up with a rumor like this! They could come up with the screenplay for Battlefield Earth – which, incidentally, I think they did – but not this rumor.

Current folklore puts the OEM cost of Windows Vista at anywhere from $39.99 to $49.99 USD for Vista Home and Home Premium editions.

One of the strictures imposed on Microsoft in its antitrust settlement with the DOJ was a level pricing structure for all OEMs, eliminating the MFN* status of some companies.

Now, I know that Intel is sort of biting the hand that feeds it, in giving Apple certain chips that do not seem to be available to Dell, at least to this unconnected blogger. Nevertheless, I do not think, indeed, I know that Microsoft is not cut of that cloth.

So, to please Apple, which, BTW, sells a maximum of about 5 million systems per year total, Microsoft would stay the course, and deny benefits to current and prospective users of Windows Vista, not including the untold numbers, estimated at around 800 million systems running a form of Windows?

Are you still kidding me?

As a One-Man Microsoft Myth & Debunk Squad, I decided to rifle through Ye Olde Email Rolodex and try to get an answer from Redmondians.

I immediately ran into a skepticism buzz saw!

Are you making this up?” I was asked?

I pointed out a few sites with rumors.

Dude, that will never come to pass!” I was informed, “Not even if St. Jobs danced the Macarena in an MSN Butterfly suit at Pike Place Market!

“Thank you”, I said, and punched out.

Another call to a well-connected source at 1, Microsoft Way, exploded with the same skeptical guffaw!

Conclusion:
Apple might be the next big thing, but only in the minds of the horde worshipping at the feet of Reverend Paulie.

Microsoft will never change, or not change its EULA to please Apple.

There you have it.

*RDF: Reality-Distortion Field. An invisible, yet tightly-controlled force field emanating from Steve Jobs, and capable of not only enveloping conference halls, arenas, and stadia, but is capable of being projected trans-continentally by Steve in order to put victims in a state of adoration and euphoria, distorting all reality.

*MFN: Most-Favored Nation or OEM. The institution of an extremely generous, albeit secret, pricing scheme for OEMs who decide to carry Microsoft products and technologies exclusively. This practice is not limited to Microsoft alone. It has been rumored that Intel, for years, paid MFN dues to Dell to the tune of $1 billion USD.

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