Monday, April 23, 2007

Am I the Luckiest man Alive?

In the past year or two, I have

  1. Been selected to share $millions looted by dead African dictators,
  2. Been selected to share $millions from corrupt Russian oil companies looted by imprisoned oligarchs,
  3. Been selected by a dying Sheikh to receive his $millions upon his death from a wasting disease,
  4. Been selected by Tatiana  and several other East Bloc 'beauties' as the object of their desires,
  5. Won the National Lottery in Spain,
  6. Won the National Lottery in the UK, and
  7. Been selected as one of the winners of the Olympic Games $1 Ticket Promotion.

Yep, just li'l old me.

All without entering into any contest!

However, as lazy as I am, I have never gotten around to claiming my winnings/awards, or striking up online relationships with the East Block shiksas.

Today though, I received another award, one that I am seriously considering:

THE BMW AUTOMOBILE COMPANY.
22 Garden Close, Stamford,
Lincs, PE9 2YP, London
United Kingdom.

The Board of Directors, members of staff and the International
Awareness Promotion Department of the BMW Automobile Company, wishes to congratulate you on your success as one of our TEN(10) STAR PRIZE WINNER in this year's BMW Automobile International Awareness Promotion (IAP) held on Saturday 21IST  April, 2007,in London.

This makes you the proud owner of a brand new BMW 5 Series, M Sport Saloon car and a cash prize of £850,000.00 GBP (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great British pounds).

The selection process was carried out through random selection in our Computerized Email Selection System (C.E.S.S.) from a database of over a million email addresses from the world wide web.To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our BMW Claims Manager through the contact details as stated below:

Mr. Steve George,
BMW Claims Manager.
E-mail:
bmwclaimsoffice@comcast.net
Phone: +44 701 112 8491
Contact him, with your ticket number: 5647600545188, Serial number: BMWP/556543450906 and Reference Number
BMW:2551256003/23. You are also advised to provide him with the under listed information along with your reply:

Claims Requirements:
1. Names in full: -----------------------------------
2. Address: -----------------------------------------
3. Sex: ---------------------------------------------
4. Age: ---------------------------------------------
5. Occupation: --------------------------------------
6. Phone: -------------------------------------------
7. Country of Residence: ----------------------------

Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information from the public to avoid fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT) pending the transfer/claim by Winner.

Yours faithfully,
MRS IDEANER BLATTS.
Online coordinator for Bmw Automobile Company.

Can you believe the balls of these fu*kers?

In particular, appreciate the nanotube-reinforced heavy-metal gonads on these fraudsters when they state that "Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information from the
public to avoid fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT) pending the
transfer/claim by Winner
"!!!

Sadly, a sucker will fall for this!

1 comment:

Jon Introverted said...

John:
You are really lucky! When will we see you making your debut in that stunning new BMW? I am somewhat surprised that you could claim the prize without providing SS# & DOB. I have been selected by foreign entities who had too much cash in their foreign accounts to use my accounts as repositories for the excess; however, this new BMW! You are the luckiest guy on earth!
steve (from church)
PS Most of your site is way over my head, you must remember that my mind was formed in a pencil and paper world beginning in 1955 at Citronelle Elementary School.....